Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
