why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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