did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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