It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
