All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
