Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
