He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
