She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
