just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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