seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
