Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
