well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
