with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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