Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
