i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she peed on how many people?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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