in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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