there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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