The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
