I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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