im about as happy as oj after his trial
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
vagina is talking i cant
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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