so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
