so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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