I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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