No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
