how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
