i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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