Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
