I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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