so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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