Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud š³
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I mean, heās listed as āAndrew DC Threesomeā in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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