I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
