Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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