Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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