Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
