Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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