So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
