so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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