it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Two words: blizzard sex
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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