everyone is single if you try hard enough
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize