i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
