I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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