She is in my trunk
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
