I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
