drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
