windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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