I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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