My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
