is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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