I faked an abortion last night.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
