And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
