I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
