You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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