my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
