I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So vagazzling was a success
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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