Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
