Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
All I want is dick and wine.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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