too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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