I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
