So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Damn victory sex feels great
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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