she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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