best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize